Cocktail Party 102: Advanced Applied Sports Talk
by Chris Arlene, Sports Editor on February 24, 2010 in Sports
Two people told me they actually used some tidbits from last semester’s Cocktail Party 101 column (shout out to Morna Ha and Melissa “Mojo” Wojciechowsk), so I figured it was time to break out version 2.0. Just to refresh, the following points will allow you to fake the sports talk chit chat you’ll encounter at networking events, job interviews, or at a friendly get together. March and April are two of the best sports months of the year, so study-up and get ready to be accepted as a sports aficionado…
National Basketball Association (NBA):
The NBA hasn’t been this good since the Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird heyday of the late 80’s/early 90’s. There’s a plethora of likeable established stars (LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, etc.) and a crop of likeable rising stars (Derrick Rose, Kevin Durant, Brandon Roy, Rajon Rondo, etc.). The future is bright.
The Eastern Conference is almost back from the decades-long collapse it suffered went Shaq signed with the Lakers, though the Western Conference is still tougher from top to bottom.
Really sucks to be a Seattle fan these days. Not only do the Sonics move to Oklahoma City, but after years of ineptitude, they have the best young roster in the league and 21-year-old future Hall of Famer in Durant. Ouch…
Best player? Kobe Bryant, LA Lakers. Best coach? Greg Popovich of the San Antonio Spurs. Best team? Lakers.
After cleaning house to give themselves $32 million in cap space, the New York Knicks will let go of All-Star David Lee and sign Joe Johnson and Rudy Gay (OK, this is more a wish than a talking point. Preface it with “Wouldn’t be funny if…”).
David Stern, the league’s Commissioner since 1984, is the best in the business.
Updated Championship Prediction: still the Cleveland Cavaliers. Just have a gut feeling LeBron is going to pull it off. Who wants to root for the Lakers anyway?
Major League Baseball (MLB):
Roy Halladay, one of the best three pitchers of the last 20 years, will win 20 games and his first National League Cy Young Award with his new team, the fightin’ Philadelphia Phillies.
The Chicago Cubs’ 101-year World Series winless drought will continue. Wrigley Field is an amazing stadium, but don’t go for the winning baseball.
Besides having one of the greatest nicknames ever (“The Big Hurt”), recently retired Chicago White Sox first baseman Frank Thomas was one of the best hitters in recent memory.
Baseball once saw heroes like Jackie Robinson, Satchel Paige, and the Negro League barnstormers help integrate this country through their excellence on the playing field. Now, only 8% of Major League players are black.
World Series Prediction: Yankees vs. Phillies part II. The two best teams in baseball actually got better in the off-season.
National Football League (NFL):
Peyton Manning was a game-winning drive away from making a case for being the best quarterback to ever play. Now he’s got to overcome his old choke artist label. Crazy…
Tennessee’s Chris Johnson and Minnesota’s Adrian Peterson are the two best running backs in the league. Who’s better? Johnson. Unbelievable speed, unbelievable vision, and ran for more than 2,000 yards when he was the only option on offense.
Breakout star of 2009? Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice. He’s a younger, stronger Brian Westbrook and is only getting better.
Super Bowl Prediction: Kansas City Chiefs vs. St. Louis Rams (NOTE: this is a gag prediction that will allow you to use sarcasm to bolster your “inherent” sports credibility).
Men’s College Basketball (NCAA):
John Wall, Kentucky’s “one and done” freshman superstar, is the real deal. He’s a lock to be the first pick in June’s NBA Draft.
The Big East may be the toughest conference ever over the last 5 years. It can certainly challenge the ACC’s glory days.
Speaking of the ACC…it stinks! Duke is the only legitimate team in the conference this year, and they’ll be lucky to make it out of the first weekend of the NCAA Tournament (sorry Antoine!).
Speaking of bad conferences…the PAC 10 may be the worst major conference in college basketball history. If they get more than one team in the field of 65, it will be an outrage.
Chances are he won’t make it in the NBA, but Villanova’s senior guard Scott Reynolds is one of the best college players of the last 15 years.
Best player? Kentucky’s Wall. Best coach? Kansas’ Bill Self. Best team? Kansas.
Championship Prediction: Syracuse Orangemen. A future top 5 draft pick on the wing, a 2-guard who can shoot and create, two good big guys inside, and their traditionally stiff 2-3 matchup zone defense. The only question is their young guards. Other contenders: Kansas, Villanova, Purdue, Michigan State.
Some Other Stuff:
The Winter Olympics will never be as great as the Summer Olympics. It’s tough when only half the world can actually participate.
Has ESPN ever explained why it shows fishing, bowling, and pool? I’d expect to see them on the “Recreational Activity Network,” but not one devoted to sports.
Whenever Tiger Woods does return to golf, he will be even more dominant than he was before his personal life became national fodder.
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